$@*! My Teacher or Professor Says

two girls whispering about their professor or teacher
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

What’s the craziest $@*! your teacher or prof has said?  Below are some of our favourite student responses from the Studentawards “$@*! My Teacher/Prof says…” Contest: 

“Physics is witchcraft.”

“I’m not here to teach you …” 

“The semicolon is a sexier version of the period.”

“Santa Claus is a communist.”

“I taught drama in a Prison so I’m not scared of you guys!”

“Shakespeare is pretty much saying that Horatio is just really un-stoked for having the midnight shift.”

“History… is about the past.”

“Alright, enough gossiping and lying about your sex lives, let’s get some work done.”

“I am high on math.”

” …you can call me “The Education” as if I were from Jersey Shore.”

“Fluorine is the slut of all the elements …”

“To conclude this math unit, we will be having a Celebration of Knowledge! Also known as a unit test.”

“Calculus is not math, it’s magic.” 

“When the music starts playing, it means there are five minutes left to get to class. It’s not an impromptu dance party.”

“BE BRAVE. Do it in Pen.”

“Questions? Thoughts? Concerns? Threats?”

“Get to work or I will teach!”

[Whenever a siren is heard:] “Your ride’s here.”

“Jeff, dude your ‘G-String’ is totally out of tune today.”

“Pollination is plant porn.”

“I am bilingual…English + Math.”

“Maybe Hamlet’s tragic flaw is that he’s a bit of an a**hole.”

“I feel like Britney Spears with this mic on, someone get me a snake.”

“If it stinks, it’s biology. If it explodes, it’s chemistry. If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.”

“Those mineral salts are odorless, but they’re still toxic. So you can still die from the fumes, but it’ll be a surprise!”